There are many different reasons why individuals may respond in a non-assertive way. They include:

Low Self-esteem and Self-confidence

Such feelings often lead to individuals dealing with other people in a passive way. By not asserting their rights, expressing their feelings or stating clearly what they want, those with low self-esteem or self-confidence may invite others to treat them in the same way. Low self-esteem is reinforced in a vicious circle of passive responding and reduced self-confidence.

Roles

Certain roles are associated with non-assertive behaviour, for example low status work roles or the traditional role of women. Stereotypically, women are seen as passive, while men are expected to be more aggressive. There can be great pressure on people to conform to the roles that are placed upon them.

Past Experience

Many individuals learn to respond in a non-assertive way through experience or through modelling their behaviour on that of parents or others.

Stress

Stressful states are often accompanied by the feeling of having little or no control over life's events. Anxious individuals often resort to passive or aggressive behaviour when expressing their thoughts and feelings.

Personality Traits

Some people believe they are either passive or aggressive by nature, in other words that they were born with certain traits and that there is little they can do to change their form of response.

To be assertive is to understand that everyone has basic human rights that should be respected and upheld. Responding passively allows such rights to be neglected or ignored. In contrast, when behaving aggressively the rights of others are abused.

What are considered personal rights will vary from person to person, however an individual's assertive rights will include the following:

• The right to express feelings, opinions and values.
• The right to change one's mind.
• The right to make decisions.
• The right to say “I don't know” and “I don't understand”.
• The right to say “no” without feeling bad or guilty.
• The right to be non-assertive.
  
• The right to be oneself.
  
• The right to privacy, to be alone and independent.

It is often necessary to balance others' needs against your own. Consideration needs to be given as to when it is appropriate to assert personal rights and when it is not. It should always be remembered that the list of assertive rights applies equally to other people as well as to yourself and, therefore, every individual has the responsibility to uphold and respect the rights of others.

Negotiation and Co-operation

Being assertive does not mean that individual wishes are automatically granted: you will not always get what you want.

Assertive behaviour allows other people to state what they want and, of course, they might desire a different outcome. To overcome a conflict, assertiveness requires co-operation and negotiation. Co-operation and negotiation allow all parties to feel that their views have been recognised and that any decisions or outcomes have been reached through mutual understanding and negotiation.